Hello family and friends!
This week was hard. I felt pretty homesick through a lot of it. The biggest challenge I'm going through right now is the social aspect of the MTC. I feel like I'm excluded from the other three Elders in our district, and I think there is some animosity towards me. There have been times where the other two Elders and my companion will walk just ahead of me and will be talking with each other, and I would hear my name being used, then when I would catch up to them they would all jolt their heads around when I'm in eye sight, and when I asked them what they were talking about they would simply say "nothing." There are just jabs made to me throughout the whole day, and sometimes it has managed to really wear me down. Homesickness is always present in some form or another, but it's situations like these that magnify it to be so much worse than it usually feels. There were a few times this week where I would just struggle through the day and by the end of the night I would go to bed with tears rolling down my face because I felt so lonely. But it was those moments where I felt the tender companionship of the Comforter, and would get the impression that whatever pain I have now will be so, so worth it in the end. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to make it through these next five weeks in the MTC but I know that if I keep praying for patience, and doing my best to respect the other elders in the district, then I will receive the help I need.
In person, I think my companion and I get along well, though. We've been learning a lot about the errors not to make during discussions and the process is coming along smoothly. While there is tension I feel at some times because of the issues previously specified, I can still feel the spirit when we're teaching together.
All else considered, the work continues to go on well here. I've been working my absolute hardest to be able to learn German and I'm constantly carrying around a dictionary and a notebook that I can write down new words in. This work has definitely helped me to focus on what is important and know why I'm out here. I'm trying to learn at least 15 new long/difficult words a day, as well as conjunctions, prepositions, and other connecting words as often as I can, and I think I'm generally maintaining that goal. Some days it's hard to keep priorities straight though because I'm trying to balance my study of the gospel with companionship study and lesson planning, and language study, but we're getting by.
By this weekend we're supposed to know 300 words in German, 30 phrases, 4 scriptures in German memorized, and a few lessons in one of our textbooks completed. These make up our "core learning", and I've hit the mark! The memorization has been tiring, but I finally got four scriptures down and now I'm working on memorizing the First Vision in German, and I'm halfway through it...It's great, but sometimes, it's mind-numbing.
Also, the word of the week is "Entsheidungsfreiheit", which means "Agency." There's also "Wiederherrstellen" for Restoration. I've found that a lot of the church vocabulary words are super long a lot of the time, but it's cool because you can kind of "dissect" them, since they're usually just a ton of simple words combined. It's pretty cool that way.
I've really gained a testimony this week over the existence, power, and influence of the Holy Ghost in inspiring and comforting all of us when we're pleading in our hearts for it. I'm studying the New Testament as well as the Book of Mormon, and I found in 2 Nephi chapter 22, verse 2 (A lot of twos) this verse
Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation.
Depending on how these next few weeks go, my MTC experience could be extremely difficult. But this is time that I am giving to the Lord, and I must do my best to forget myself, and consecrate all my time to helping Him accomplish His purposes. I know that Jesus cares for us, and that through His strength, we can receive strength to endure to the end. I have felt such strength succoring me today and I can't wait to share the blessings I have from this church with the people of Germany!
I love you all so much! Keep the letters coming, because they definitely help!
Love,
Elder Wallentine
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